– Anahita Teresa Paul, I B.A. Visual Arts
In the seventeen years and eight months I breathed life on this planet, I have realized that our generation is something I can only describe as spectacular. Let me explain: we’re living in twenty eighteen where we stream our favourite music in sometime less than a millisecond, we blow up on the internet for doing the dumbest and-pardon my French- dope-est things, we’re so gangster that we watch movies online before they hit the theatres even though our fifth grade computer teachers told us piracy is a crime and we all imagined ourselves as Captain Hook (or Jack Sparrow- take your pick) behind bars and we exist at the same time as the Kardashians. You think anyone in the 1800s, or whenever really, guessed that there would one day be a time when people got famous for just being famous! Of course, not! That’s because they didn’t have Instagram and had plagues and wars to deal with. Oh, the hippies in the seventies did drugs? Well, we ate Tide Pods for views on YouTube and had a burning esophagus. We exemplify the term extra(vaganza) because we have multiple accounts on social media to ‘stan’ and participate in the fandom and revel in the awesomeness of the people we love, I think. I mean, I wouldn’t know.
In reference to the title of this article- I do not belong anywhere. I realise that almost everyone reading this has the totally justified fear of being boxed or labeled based on what they like, how they dress or what they said about Jenny to Kenny while watching Manchester by the Sea. However, the problem polar takes me to the other extreme- labels and boxes turn into whisks and pans, because it makes my brain scrambled eggs. Why, you ask? My friend would say it’s because I have commitment issues (mind you, her Instagram handle contains the words ‘fandom’ and ‘queen’). In a way, she’s right because yesterday I spent the entire day obsessing over Freddie Mercury’s costume design- may his soul rest in peace as we jam to the Bohemian Rhapsody; the previous day I watched about five hours worth of Aubrey Plaza interviews (YouTube is very informative that way). Today, all I want is for somebody to start a blog on the origins of every Royal Family’s Crown Jewels so I can while away another five hours. No fandom is ever going to want me because which family wants cousin Jim who never shows up except for the annual Christmas lunch when he pompously tells everyone he really loves the family. I’m a cousin Jim to the fandoms of the world.
The last time I really ever belonged to fandom was my Hunger Games phase. No, I didn’t exchange notes with other fans on the internet on Jennifer Lawrence’s best angles but I did pray every night to transform me into Katniss Everdeen so I can be as awesome as her. I stopped when I realised that our lives are pretty much exactly like the Hunger Games except that we don’t have to hunt. Essentially, I get unhealthily excited about everything from a Cotton Eyed Joe karaoke session to the Academy Awards and then I forget it ever happened. This probably explains why I am so uninterested in everything on my Tumblr feed.
To conclude this completely unnecessary rant that I only started because I felt left out, I just have to say: props to all the fan girls and boys out there (with fandoms) and your commitment to them. I envy you, but I wouldn’t want to be you because I just got a Pinterest Alexander McQueen board recommendation. I now know what I’m going to be doing for the next five hours.