-Kavyashree P & Swetha R, I Year B.A. English
There is a fine line between friendship and co-dependence. When you are friends with someone, you enjoy their presence, you share a good laugh, you’re also there for each other when the need be. But when you are co-dependent, you can’t survive without each other. You need to have the person around you all the time to function properly.
Not only is this type of a relationship unhealthy, but it is also unrealistic. Nobody can be there for someone else all the time. They have their own stuff to do and their own problems to deal with. No one is that selfless. But there are a few rare cases where such selfless people do exist. And everything seems fine in the beginning – you go crying to said person, they solve your problem for you, you’re happy. But a time will come when you are faced with a problem that no one else can solve except you. What will you do then?
We have all heard things like, “Friendship is the best ship” and “Nobody loves us like our friends do.”
We are so deeply invested in such thoughts that if our friends point out our mistakes or make us solve our problems by ourselves, we immediately assume that they don’t love us enough and that the relationship we share with them isn’t “actual friendship.” We are highly dependent on our friends that we actually forget that they have a life apart from us and that their world doesn’t come to a standstill just because we are facing a crisis.
Yes, we can expect our friend to be there for us when we are having problems but there is an extent up to which we can depend on them. When your friend asks you to solve a problem by yourself and takes a step back and lets you deal with it, feel proud that you have actually have earned a true friend who is making you better.
Always remember this: The only friend who is always going to face and solve your problems for you is YOU.
Irrespective of how close you are to a person, there will be some details about you that nobody knows except you. You have unlimited power over yourself to steer yourself in any direction you want. Any advice or suggestion given to you, you take the final decision whether to follow it or not. Treat people in your life for what they actually are, people. They’re not a vital organ in your body that you can’t function without them.
As in the words of Lilly Singh, “People are not in your life to fulfil your every need….People are bonuses to what already should be a great life you’ve created for yourself.”